OTL Newsletter: Here’s the problem with having all the answers

Observation 🧐

When you hear the term “Mental Load”, you probably think about domestic life. Mental load is the mental and emotional work required to manage daily life and it’s more likely to fall on women.  

While we don’t speak about it as often, this phenomenon happens in our work life as well. 

At home, your partner says:

🤔 "Honey, I want to help! Just tell me what needs doing."

Translation: "You are in charge, you must take the time to tell me what to do as well."

At work, it's eerily similar when your direct report says:

🤔"I'm stuck on the client proposal. What should I do next?"

Translation: Now you need to stop, think through my problem, and create a solution.

🤔"Can you review this and give me suggestions on how to improve it?"

Translation: Please analyze my work and create an improvement plan for me.

🤔"I'm not sure about this decision. What would you do?"

Translation: Rather than thinking it through, I'd like you to do the mental heavy lifting.

At home and at work, the other person is putting the onus on you to find solutions. 

On top of these overt requests for help, leaders also expected to carry an invisible inventory:

➕ Tracking each team member's development journey

➕ Anticipating pipeline risks months ahead

➕ Managing everyone's emotions while masking our own

➕ Juggling stakeholder expectations

➕ Monitoring team morale and burnout risks

The way to reduce your Mental Load at work?  

Stop being “Chief Problem Solver”. 

❌Instead of: "Sure, I'll tell you what to do next."

✅Try: "What options have you considered?"

❌Instead of: "Let me solve that for you."

✅Try: "Walk me through your thinking." 

To make that transition, we must create systems of independence, not dependence

💡 Knowledge Ownership

• Each team member becomes the go-to expert in specific areas
• No more "ask the boss" default response
• Create accessible documentation (so you're not the walking wiki)

💡 Decision Frameworks

• Provide clear guidelines for autonomous decision-making
• Share context, not just tasks
• Establish boundaries for when escalation is actually needed

💡 Problem-Solving Protocols

• Before bringing a problem, come with potential solutions
• Create troubleshooting guides for common issues
• Build peer support networks

You can also set new expectations for your team on how to approach you when they need help. 

1. "No problem transfers without a solution attempt"

• Every issue brought must come with attempted solutions
• No drive-by problem dropping in hallway conversations
• Emergency situations require proper documentation

2. "Own your challenges"

• Team members own their projects end-to-end
• Resources must be identified before escalation
• Regular progress checks are the owner's responsibility

3. "Growth through ownership"

• Train team members to handle increasingly complex challenges
• Celebrate successful independent problem-solving
• Create mentorship programs for skill development

The goal isn't to never help your team. It's to stop being the default solution to every problem. Like the mental load at home, the answer isn't about task delegation - it's about transferring true ownership of both the thinking and the doing.

Your role as a leader isn't to be the keeper of all problems or the manager of all mental loads. It's to build a team of capable, independent thinkers who can handle their own challenges and anticipate needs before they become issues.

Thought Starter  🤔

Unlike my 9 year old, I never read Comics. But there is one comic I have read and referenced many times: 

 While this comic applies to our domestic lives, leaders often wear two hats of “manager” and “doer”. We are asked to not only manage the tasks of our team, but we have our own work that must be completed as well. Not to mention the energy it takes to build a positive team culture and be considerate of how everyone is feeling (not just performing). 

Love 🥰

When I was new to the corporate world, one of my very first managers shared this HBR Article - “Who’s got the Monkey”.

It gave me a whole new perspective on what a leader must go through and I believe it made me a more empathetic and impactful employee.